Tender Moments As A Mother

Being a mom is hard. Sometimes the diapers seem endless, the tears come often, and the picking and cleaning up feels pointless. The laundry piles up  (often remaining piled on my bed but never getting put away), the tub needs cleaning, as Christian has pooped in it AGAIN, and the floor is covered with food from messy little boys. 

Being a mom is hard, but it's the tender moments that make it all so very worth it. Let me share a few of those moments with you.

Brandon and I have been traveling a lot lately. We were in California last week because my brother got married. Brandon came home early for work but I stayed longer with the boys. On our flight home my mom took a baby and I took a baby. The problem with our plan was only four people could sit in a row in the airplane because there were only four oxygen masks. So, since the flight was full, the four of us couldn't sit together. 

Everything was going great as we settled into our seats. My mom sat with Connor directly behind me and I sat with Christian. Our hope throughout the flight was that Connor wouldn't notice I was in a seat just a foot away. Mission accomplished... Until about half way there. Once he saw me he started screaming at the top of his lungs, but by this point Christian had fallen asleep on my lap. After 10-15 minutes of crying, we decided to trade with the hope that Christian would fall sweetly back to sleep after being tossed over the tall airplane seat to my mom. Mission failed. Poor baby. He cried and cried. Connor was now content but because Christian wouldn't settle back down we had to toss two now screaming babies over the seats. Everyone was staring. As Christian settled back into my arms, Connor's screams pierced everyone's ears. I was trying to hold back the tears as there was nothing I could do to help my little boy. I said a prayer asking for help to calm my baby. Shortly after, the idea came to me to put my arm between my seat and the window and reach back to hold Connor's hand. Once he had a firm grip on my finger, he immediately quieted down and fell asleep. As he loosened his death grip, my aching arm slipped back to me, and I peaked between the seats to see how he was doing. Again, my eyes filled with tears as I looked at my sleeping boy. I said a quick prayer of thanks to a very real and close Heavenly Father. 

My second tender moment came a few nights later. 

After arriving back in Virginia the boys had a hard time adjusting back to their normal bed time. One evening Christian lay in his bed crying. Some time passed and he was still crying so I decided to give in, go upstairs (for the third time), and cuddle him. As we sat on the floor he gazed up into my eyes with a content expression on his face. After some time, his face broke into a large, unexpected smile. His sweet smile melted me and made me think of a childhood classic my mom would often read to my brothers, sisters, and I.

I imagined sneaking into his room every year, holding and rocking him in my arms, and singing...

I'll love you forever,

I'll like you for always,

As long as I'm living

my baby you'll be. 

As I continued to ponder the blessing of motherhood, I stood and rocked my little boy to sleep. 

Being a mom is hard. I'm sure it's the hardest thing I'll ever do, but it is the center of my life, and the joy of my heart.