I Will Not Be Defeated

After having Ava, I went through a period of time where I felt like my freedom had been abruptly sucked away from me. I felt a little like I was drowning and couldn't help but wonder why on earth I decided to get pregnant again (not because of Ava, but because my boys had only turned 2 three months earlier).  Not very many people have 3 kids, 2 and under, and I was quickly beginning to understand why. It didn't help that the heart of winter was upon us, the amount of sleep I was getting was minimal, and I was trying to recover from a c-section. But, as Ava started sleeping longer, and the months gradually got warmer, things got easier. I even started to venture out a little.

Sometimes we had success and sometimes we didn't.

Upon arriving home after a rather suffocating experience, I felt discouraged and utterly overwhelmed.  "How was I ever going to take my kids anywhere if it went as horrible as it did today?" I asked myself. My life is OVER.

Several days later and after much thought and prayer, I came to this conclusion...

I will not be defeated by the number and age of my children. 

If I have even the slightest bit of confidence in a destination, I'm risking all and going for it. Hell or high water, I'm making it happen. There will be times when they cry, scream, or even throw cars at random children out of rage. There will be times when I get in the car and burst into tears from exhaustion, and down-right anger. They'll be times when my whole day will be swallowed up in the sacrifice of my children, but...

I will not be defeated. 

My children need to get out, I need to get out. These things add excitement, thrill, and happiness to life.

And even though, a good part of the time, things don't go as smoothly as I'd hoped, every now and then, they're near perfect. Today was one of those days. I think Heavenly Father gives us tender mercies constantly to encourage us along the way, we just need to stop and notice. Today was a tender mercy straight from Heaven. As I watched my kids shovel frozen yogurt into their little mouths, and listened to the lively music in the background, an immense amount of gratitude filled my heart.

Today I think Heavenly Father is happy with me and how I'm raising His children.

^^^Finger painting at Beyond Bricks^^^

^^^Racing cars around and around New Town's water fountain. Only once did we lose a car in the churning water. I'd consider that a huge success.^^^

^^^Picking out the gummy bears. Apparently, they aren't fans.^^^

^^^The picture to the right cracks me up! Her face and posture haha.^^^

 I never would have thought 3 of my 4 best friends would be this small. But they are and that makes me happy.